My Collection

These are quotes I've gathered from various places. I'm slowly adding HTML tags to improve this document's appearance.

"...because nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff... Nerds are allowed to love stuff, like jump-up-and-down-in-the-chair-can't-control-yourself love it. Hank, when people call people nerds, mostly what they're saying is 'you like stuff.' Which is just not a good insult at all. Like, 'you are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness'."
-- John Green

Tolle cupidinem
immittis uvae
iam tibi lividos
distinguet autumnus
racemos purpureo
varius colore
*-*
Bide your time,
arm yourself with patience,
allow the seasons to run their course,
so that Fall may tinge those green soulless grapes
of a rich garnet hue
-- From a wine tag

As personal choice, we tend not to use debuggers beyond getting a stack trace or the value of a variable or two. One reason is that it is easy to get lost in details of complicated data structures and control flow; we find stepping through a program less productive than thinking harder and adding output statements and self-checking code at critical places. Clicking over statements takes longer than scanning the output of judiciously-placed displays. It takes less time to decide where to put print statements than to single-step to the critical section of code, even assuming we know where that is. More important, debugging statements stay with the program; debugging sessions are transient.
-- Brian W. Kernighan and Rob Pike in their book "The Practice of Programming"

Programming is, at least partially, the ability and/or desire to force your mind to be completely literal. I have a pet theory that the reason programming is so difficult for many people, and the reason it induces such a strange mind state, is that it's a fundamentally different way of thinking that's not at all natural and must be consciously donned, like a hat that doesn't fit. You know how it sometimes takes a while to get fully into it, and once you're there it takes a while to come out of it? My wife still struggles with that: she doesn't understand that I am in a sort of trance, holding a strange world inside my head that is at odds with reality. She'll ask me a simple question, like what should we eat for dinner or have I let the dogs out recently, and sometimes it takes a full ten or fifteen seconds before I can react coherently. And it's not that I'm ignoring her. I just don't have room in my poor overburdened brain for the real world: it's been crowded out by the digital one. And unfortunately, by coming out long enough to answer her, I've lost alot of ground. It will take another twenty minutes to get back to where I was. I don't think, though, that programming has to do that to people forever: it's just that our method of telling computers what to do is still very crude and cumbersome.
-- Dave Johnson

According to Hillis, certain problems aren't solvable in three years, and it's people's nature not to work on problems they can't solve. If we can extend people's horizons, a whole range of challenges fall back into play. Just consider the headlock Microsoft has the industry in - venture capitalists only funding start-ups that avoid areas Microsoft has dominated, et cetera. For the foreseeable future, that won't change, and for a venture capitalist with a five-year portfolio it's a rational decision. But if we opened our time frame up to 10 years, all sorts of post-Windows scenarios become imaginable.
--From a wired feature article (Issue 6.05-May 1998) "The Long Now : Time-traveling with Danny Hillis" by Po Bronson.

"The next generation of software will not, cannot, be based on proprietary technology that belongs to one company. We're living in the dawn of the information age, not the dawn of the Microsoft Age or the dawn of the Age of Redmond. The next generation of computing, network computing, will not be dominated by any one company or any one person. The age in which we live can't be controlled by a single human being. Nation-states resent it, individuals resent it." (Upside Sep 97)
--Oracle CEO Larry Ellison speaking on the end of the age of domination by one software company's technical standards

I think the eighties were the decade of direct manipulation, [and] I think the nineties are going to be about programmability. I don't want to sit and move stuff around on my screen all day and look at figures and have it recognize my gestures and listen to my voice. I want to tell it what to do and then go away; I don't want to babysit this computer. I want it to act for me, not with me.
--Esther Dyson

An adequate sense of tradition manifests itself in a grasp of those future possibilities which the past has made available to the present.
--Alasdair MacIntyre, After Virtue

For humans, honesty is a matter of degree. Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the truth.
--Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle

May all the char*'s point to your workstation.
--Bob Pinto

Combining favorable latitudes with appropriate seasonal synchronization enhances thermal indicators and increases exposure indices. A contiguous aqueous environment facilitates additional options in a flexible, extensible, framework. Aquatic excitations offer transportation modalities integrated with a granular silica background, as sartorial proclivities trend toward diminishing coverage.
--Leigh Sneddon, on a vacation postcard sent to his work friends

"God was able to create the world in only seven days because there was no installed base to consider."
--Andy Finkel?

Headline: Midget Psychic Escapes from Prison, Small Medium At Large!
--Unknown

Title: Director of Nomatic Urban Redevelopment at the Institute of Interdisiplinary Specialization
--Martin Siegenthler?

"We're giving people a door out of the roach motel."
-- Scott McNealy, President and CEO, Sun Microsystems; talking of Java's potential to break up Microsoft's monopoly. (as quoted in Financial World)

"It sits in beauty: ode to a chocolate mocha cake"

It sits in beauty like the night,
of cloudless times and with no fear
and all that is best of dark and bright
meet in its quadruple raspberry tiers:
Thus mellow'd to that yummy bite
Which concerns of calories do not endear.

And on that plate and with thy spoon
So soft, so moist, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, frosting that glows
But tell of days in chocolateness spent
A piece at peace with all below,
A cake whose love is innocent!

-- Heidi K. Von Ludewig, with thanks to Lord Byron for his inspirational poem "She walks in beauty"

God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Joseph ruled, Jacob fooled, bush talked, Moses balked, Pharoh plagued, people walked, sea divided, tablets guided, promise landed, Saul freaked, David peeked, prophets warned, Jesus born, God walked, love talked, anger crucified, hope died, Love rose, Spirit flamed, Word spread, God remained.
-- Source unknown

I don't believe in astrology.  But then I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians
don't believe in astrology.
        -- James R. F. Quirk

When love is gone, there's always justice.
And when justice is gone, there's always force.
And when force is gone, there's always Mom.
Hi, Mom!
                -- Laurie Anderson

        Thompson, if he is to be believed, has sampled the entire
rainbow of legal and illegal drugs in heroic efforts to feel better
than he does.
        As for the truth about his health: I have asked around about
it.  I am told that he appears to be strong and rosy, and steadily
sane.  But we will be doing what he wants us to do, I think, if we
consider his exterior a sort of Dorian Gray facade.  Inwardly, he is
being eaten alive by tinhorn politicians.
        The disease is fatal.  There is no known cure.  The most we can
do for the poor devil, it seems to me, is to name his disease in his
honor.  From this moment on, let all those who feel that Americans can
be as easily led to beauty as to ugliness, to truth as to public
relations, to joy as to bitterness, be said to be suffering from Hunter
Thompson's disease.  I don't have it this morning.  It comes and goes.
This morning I don't have Hunter Thompson's disease.
                -- Kurt Vonnegut Jr. on Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Excerpt
                   from "A Political Disease", Vonnegut's review of "Fear
                   and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72"


"Space by itself, and time by itself, are doomed
to fade away into mere shadows, and only a kind
union of the two will preserve an independent
reality."
		-- Albert Einstein

"1-2-3-4 kick the lawsuits out the door
 5-6-7-8 innovate don't litigate
 9-A-B-C interfaces should be free
 D-E-F-O Look and feel has got to go."
                -- League for Programming Freedon

"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and
finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us.  "He is full of
murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by
their ignorance the hard way."
		-- Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"

He is the MELBA-BEING...  the ANGEL CAKE...
  XEROX him...  XEROX him
		--Zippy the Pinhead

CAUTION: DEADLIEST JOKE IN THE WORLD
"Venn ist das nurnstuck git und Slotermeyer?
 Ya! Beigerhund das oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!"
		--Scott C. Kennedy ?

Remember to never split an infinitive.  The passive voice should never
be used.  Do not put statements in the negative form.  Verbs have to
agree with their subjects.  Proofread carefully to see if you words
out.  If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal
of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.  A writer must
not shift your point of view.  And don't start a sentence with a
conjunction.  (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a
sentence with.)  Don't overuse exclamation marks!!  Place pronouns as
close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more
words, to their antecedents.  Writing carefully, dangling participles
must be avoided.  If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a
linking verb is.  Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing
metaphors.  Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.  Everyone should
be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their
writing.  Always pick on the correct idiom.  The adverb always follows
the verb.  Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek
viable alternatives.
		--William Safire's Rules for Writers


When an eel bites your leg, and the pain makes you beg, that's a moray!
		--Chris Esposito?

A set of love descriptions written in the styles of different people:

  Love is a slippery eel that bites like hell.
               -- Bertrand Russell

  Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns
  on you with a miniature machine gun.
               -- Kierkegaard
 
  Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips
  over, pinning you underneath.  At night, the snow weasels come.
               -- Nietzsche

FOOLED you!  Absorb EGO SHATTERING impulse rays, polyester poltroon!!
		-- Zippy the Pinhead

A new virus list.  Identified by name and symptoms.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS:  Doesn't "infect" your machine.  It merely
makes your machine "integrity disadvantaged."

RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS:  Won't allow you to delete files any more.  In some
cases, if you want to erase a file, you have to schedule an appointment
with a counselor to review possible alternatives, then schedule another
appointment to examine the file to be erased, and then go through a 
48-hour waiting period.  When you actually erase the file, demonstrators
will be called to belittle you and bar entry to your office that day.

GALLUP VIRUS:  Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
error).

NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS:  Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
mad just thinking about it.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS:  Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, 
and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

TED TURNER VIRUS:  Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENNEGGER VIRUS:  Terminates and stays resident.  
It'll be back.

AT&T VIRUS:  Every three minutes it tells you what great service 
you're getting.

THE MCI VIRUS:  Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying 
too much for the AT&T virus.

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS:  Divides your hard drive into hundreds of
little units, none of which actually do anything, but each of which 
claim to be the most important part of the computer.

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS:  Nothing works, but your diagnostic software
says everything is fine.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS:  Warns you of impending hard disk attack--
Once if by LAN.  Twice if by C:

	-- Unknown

This is an actual essay that a guy used to get himself accepted at NYU 2 or 3
years ago. The author of this essay, Hugh Gallagher, now attends NYU.

3A. ESSAY
IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE
APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:  ARE THERE
ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE
REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice.  I have
been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more
efficient in the area of heat retention.  I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban
refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.
Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot
bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute
Brownies in twenty minutes.  I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and
an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended
a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.  I
play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous
documentaries.  When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard.
I enjoy urban hang gliding.  On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical
appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.  Critics
worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.  I don't
perspire.  I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail.  I have been
caller number nine and have won the weekend passes.  Last summer I toured New
Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration.  I bat .400.  My
deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.
Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.  I
once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and
still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening.  I know the
exact location of every food item in the supermarket.  I have performed
several covert operations for the CIA.  I sleep once a week; when I do sleep,
I sleep in a chair.  While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated
with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery.  The laws of
physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid.  On
weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.  Years ago
I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.  I have made
extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.  I
breed prizewinning clams.  I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving
competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.  I have played
Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.

Fifty Ways to Hose Your Code
----------------------------

The problem's all inside your code she said to me;
Recursion is easy if you take it logically.
I'm here to help you if you're struggling to learn C,
There must be fifty ways to hose your code.

She said it's really not my habit to #include,
And I hope my files won't be lost or misconstrued;
But I'll recompile at the risk of getting screwed,
There must be fifty ways to hose your code.

Just blow up the stack Jack,
Make a bad call Paul,
Just hit the wrong key Lee,
And set your pointers free.

Just mess up the bus Gus,
You don't need to recurse much,
You just listen to me.

She said it grieves me to see you compile again.
I wish there were some hardware that wasn't such a pain.
I said I appreciate that and could you please explain,
About the fifty ways.

She said why don't we both just work on it tonight,
And I'm sure in the morning it'll be working just right.
Then she hosed me and I realized she probably was right,
There must be fifty ways to hose your code.

Just lose the address Les,
Clear the wrong Int Clint,
Traverse the wrong tree Lee,
And set your list free.

Just mess up the bus Gus,
You don't need to recurse much,
You just program in C.

	-- Kind of by Paul Simon

We're the knights of the round table
We dance whene'er we're able
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot. 

	-- Monty Python

The Universe is governed by the complex interweaving of 3 elements:
Energy, Matter and Enlightened Self-Interest.

	--G'Kar, Babylon 5

Do not mess with any jumper you do not know about even if it is labeled
"SEX and FREE BEER"

	-- Dave Haynie ( CBM ENGINEER )


"No reason why your great-grandchildren shouldn't be
able to boot up your program and play a game of chess and interact with you
even though you've been dead for a hundred years.  If you want to
immortalize, digitize."
	-- Timothy Leary (at age 74)

Clarke's Law: When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
-- Arthur C. Clarke in "Profiles of the Future"

Don't sweat petty things... or pet sweaty things.
-- unknown

Human energy can be increased by careful attention to health, by substantial food in moderation, by regularity of habits, by adhering to the many precepts and laws of religion and hygiene, by the promotion of marriage, and conscientious attention to children. Laxity of morals is a terrible evil which poisons the body and mind.
-- Nikola Tesla

"Life is full of infinite absurdities, which, strangely enough, do not even need to appear plausible, because they are true."
- Luigi Pirandello

"Tell me and I might forget. Show me and I can remember. Involve me and I will understand."
Confucius, 450 B.C.

Oh! jolly is the gale,
And a joker is the whale,
A' flourishin' his tail,--
Such a funny, sporty, gamy, jesty, joky, hoky-poky lad, is the Ocean, oh!

The scud all a flyin',
That's his flip only foamin';
When he stirs in the spicin',--
Such a funny, sporty, gamy, jesty, joky, hoky-poky lad, is the Ocean, oh!

Thunder splits the ships,
But he only smacks his lips,
A tastin' of this flip,--
Such a funny, sporty, gamy, jesty, joky, hoky-poky lad, is the Ocean, oh!

Herman Melville, "Moby Dick"

"Advance, ye mates! Cross your lances full before me. Well done! Let me touch the axis." So saying, with extended arm, he grasped the three level, radiating lances at their crossed centre; while so doing, suddenly and nervously twitched them; meanwhile, glancing intently from Starbuck to Stubb; from Stubb to Flask. It seemed as though, by some nameless, interior volition, he would fain have shocked into them the same fiery emotion accumulated within the Leyden jar of his own magnetic life. The three mates quailed before his strong, sustained, and mystic aspect. Stubb and Flask looked sideways from him; the honest eye of Starbuck fell downright.
Herman Melville, "Moby Dick", Ch 36

But by her still halting course and winding, woeful way, you plainly saw that this ship that so wept with spray, still remained without comfort. She was Rachel, weeping for her children, because they were not.
Herman Melville, "Moby Dick", Ch 128

Hurrah! A women has twins, gives them up for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and is named "Ahmal" The other is sent to a Spanish family and is named "Juan". Years later, Juan sends his birth mother a picture of himself. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. He replies, "They're twins for Pete sake!! If you've seen Juan, you've see Ahmal!!".
Returned from Charlix the widget on iGoogle.

I will admit, I loved my Amiga. It was my only friend. It was awesome in its day. I held the banner of Amiga zealot proudly until '95.

Today, I see the Mac fanbois and Linux zealots, and I harbor scorn and envy. There is no platform that deserves such a pedestal. Not just because the Amiga died, but through it's death I could see the world for the cold place it is. OSes & manufacturers will come and go. Apple will die, and Linux will fade. I know not when, but they will. Yet, I am envious of the fanaticism these people hold. The joy they get from the belief their system is superior to all else. I remember when I had faith in Commodore and wish for those days of old.

Today, I move quietly from machine to machine and hold no special attachment to any OS. They are all the same despite their differences.

Once. A few years ago. There was a brief moment I thought I heard the song of BSD, but I turned around and it was just a wrinkled old harlot clearing her throat.

No, the Amiga died, and so did my passion. I miss my old friend, but there will be no more friends like her. Now we only visit -- in the still of the night -- when I am fast asleep.

Posted on slashdot.org by ChefInnocent in response to the topic "Old Operating Systems Never Die"